Sunday 31 March 2013

Traffic Lights {25}


This post is dedicated to JollyGoodFellow, we recommend her blog- her stories are amazing! Enjoy xo 

I sat in my room for as long as it took. There were frequent visits from the workers and Aibileen. She found the will, the day we arrived and instantly sent it to Rashed. I ate little, took frequent walks in the garden but went back to my room. My safe haven.

I was lying down in bed, staring at my phone’s background imagine of Yousef and me. How happy we were… And now… We’re nothing but a minor unimportant memory, but it hurts me knowing that I let our love slip away so easily. Being rejected hurts when you’ve given all what you had. The happy moments, I hope they don’t dissolve… My unconscious thoughts are only taking over me in a negative way; I can’t seem to think of anything but misery. Perhaps I’m forming some sort of depression…

I remained in my room for a week or more. Anyway, I lost count. But eventually I had to get out; I had this urge to get out of this dreary distressing hole. If I stay like this any longer god knows what’ll happen to me. I put on my shorts and tee and went out for an early morning jog outside the house. I ran until I felt like my lungs were burning, the sensation of being alive and living your life not fully satisfying me. There is something missing, but I can’t seem to find the missing puzzle, my mind wandering on its own and my heart guiding me elsewhere. What is happening to me?

It started raining, once again. The weather won’t get any better. I made my way back home walking just to clear my thoughts. There are two ways out of this, one: I do nothing, or, two: change my lifestyle; graduate and end this nonsense depression. I have to show Yousef that I’m much more than this, how can I break him the way he broke me? Success. If I become successful then that’ll just burn him knowing who I was and what I’ve become.

I ran upstairs, showered then got dressed.
I bet he’s back in Tokyo not even thinking about me, just working so hard on his fashion line while I’m here bawling my eyes out. I tied my hair up into a ponytail and applied some red lipstick.

Aibileen, I’m leaving.
Where to?
I’ve got to do some retail therapy.
She came out of the kitchen dressed in her apron, her hands powdered with flour.
All right ma belle enfant. She smiled, I smiled back.  

I shopped and also went to the salon, had my nails done and had my hair done too. I headed back home once I finished. It just felt so good to restrain myself from being sad, there is so much out there to appreciate and I’m blinded by one thing that can’t seem to bring me happiness. No matter how hard I try.

I entered the house, the air was filled with Aibileen’s laughter.

Oh dear, your company is always a pleasure. I can’t wait until Jawaher sees you, she’d be so happy. I was so curious, I walked in.

What a pleasant surprise! I quickened my pace towards them. Aibileen’s right, I am so happy to see you.
I’m glad you are. How are you? I sat beside him.
Been better. And you?
Good.
Why didn’t you tell me that you were coming? I would’ve came back earlier.
Oh, no don’t worry. I arrived around an hour ago and came by to check upon you.
Oh. I blushed. Not sure why...
Would you like to go out for a walk?
Sure.

I went outside to the garden.
How long are you going to stay here?
I’m not sure, although I need to go back. My graduation is only a couple of weeks away. You?
Just for a couple of days, thought I’d come by to visit.
Thank you, I really do appreciate it.
You don’t need to thank me; it is my duty to check on you. And besides I miss this place so much, it brings back so many memories.
We sat down on a bench.
Why are these beautiful eyes filled with sadness? Come on now, come closer. I won’t hurt you, I promise.Tell me what’s wrong. Jawaher you have to trust me…
I trust you... In fact if there were someone out there other than Aibileen that I trust it would be you. But I don’t think… I can just… Just… Talk about what happened, its not easy…  I’ve been through a lot since childhood and now things just keep on getting worse.
Well if there was ever a time you need someone to talk to, to rely on, then I’m always here for you. I’ll be your crying shoulder. I promise I won’t judge and I will listen till the end. I’ll keep all your secrets locked inside.
Rashed… I smiled; I felt this sudden affection towards him rushing through my body with tears of joy. I hugged him. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I pulled away and looked right into his eyes, because I meant every word and I wanted him to believe me.  

21 comments:

  1. Awwww cute :') I'm glad she finally admit that! I think he likes her and she too.. More than cousins or siblings ;);) Lovely short post. Please post soon xxx

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    1. Thank you for the comment! Is it that obvious that they're somehow into each other?

      Xxxxx

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  2. You know you just made my day? I had such a bad day and just when I checked your blog I smiled! A big smile!
    I loved the post!! Even though it's a bit short!
    God I love Rashed<3 such a gentleman!
    Yeah Jawaher just forget about yousif and live your happy life!

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    1. Awwww!!!! Sweet heart that's one of the best comments we've ever got! That big smile you have on, instantly puts an even bigger smile on our faces! Hopefully there are no more bad days to come <3
      Isn't Yousef a gentleman too?

      Xxxxx

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  3. awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww it's all so amazing!!! i love her!!!! ....

    unfortunately i am going in the same situation as her now.. and it's funny to see she is doing the same things as me... :) it feels like my life written ... Her life will be amazing,God only takes out people from your life when he has better plans for you..

    Thanks girl for al yoru amazing support.. tomorrow (1st of April) there will be a special post on my blog, please check it and continue producing dreams with your blog!!!

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    1. There will be a super special post on my blog tomorrow! check it !!


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    2. We totally agree with your comment! Its like you just predicted the entire story, which is fascinating <3 Thank you so much for the ongoing support dear, you're one of our favorite bloggers <3

      Xxxxx

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  4. AMAZING BLOG !! Please post soon :'( <33

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    1. Thank you!!

      Inshallah - Sorry for the delay :X

      Xxxxx

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  5. Awww cuteness!!!!!
    Gah I want Rashed he's just like my imaginary prince charming<3
    I'm totally in love with your story*-*
    It's the best!
    Can't wait to read the next post!

    Lots of love xo

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    1. It IS the BEST

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    2. Awwww <3 Well we think its a little too soon to judge Rashed, perhaps you'll discover him more in the upcoming posts. We hope you like him even more ;)<3
      Thank you so much, our blog is the best in the eyes of the best!

      Xxxxx

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  6. Omggg I CAN'T WAIT for this love story to begin! This gonna be a lotta fun! I love you and your AHHHHMAYYYZANGG story. No comparison whatsoever to the rest :* love love LOOOOVEE it. Tehehehe <3

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    1. Thank you!!! We love love LOOOVEEE you too<3

      Xxxxx

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  7. WOW!!! Her outfit is SUUUPPER cuuute <3 I absolutely LOVE your taste in clothes, your style of writing and your way of thinking. You two are superb and truly talented, must I say your blog is utterly astounding or am I the last to say so? Hope not. Please keep it up, I cannot wait for the forth and coming posts about Rashed and Jawaher!

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    1. Yay! <3 We're glad we share the same taste in clothes as you do! You're such a sweet commenter thank you SO much for your kind words! We can't wait for your comments <3

      Xxxxx

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  8. Replies
    1. Hello
      I'm Abeer (a silent reader)
      Actually you girls deserve more than a comment to be Honest.
      The most precious thing is The friendship, keep it up and Forever.
      I Love how you two attached together in writing and replying comments everywhere masha2llah.
      When it comes to the story, I'm completely speechless, it's incredibly beautiful and perfect. I can imagine it wallah hhhh , and I probably can't move my Gaze away from the screen while reading it.
      I wish for both of you sweeties the best of luck in your life.

      Lady M & princess R
      Thank you so much for sharing your story and for being active al the time.
      Lot of love ;*
      Abeer

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    2. Abeer, oh dear! You just encouraged and inspired us to come up with the next post (we had to ditch our exams - short breaks don't harm! Hehe) We're SOOOO happy that you were once upon a time a silent reader and now a commenter, you have no idea how happy we are at the moment. Words cannot describe our happiness! 7abeebty, just you commenting has formed a friendship between the three of us.
      Thank you so so much dear!
      We wish you all the best in your life, we wish you happiness, success and eternal love<3

      Xxxxx

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  9. We missed you!!! When are you going to post the next post?

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    1. Sorry :X We know we've been really bad for not posting lately! Hopefully you like the next post!

      Xxxxx

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