Traffic Lights {29}

Sorry for taking so long! We just finished our exams (summer is finally here! Yay!!!) and as promised here's an extra long post. Please do comment below, silent readers we'd love to hear your opinions too! If you have an recommendations please let us know <3 This is a dedication to all of the ones that commented in the previous post, thank you for your patience!           Enjoy xo

I woke up and headed straight to the beach, I went kayaking just to ease my stress. I was so anxious about tomorrow; what if they don’t show up – could be good- but what if they did show up… Oh God… please make tomorrow pass by in a blink of an eye…

I went back in, Aibileen had just started preparing breakfast. I went upstairs had a shower then got dressed. I wanted to look formal; it’s the first day at the office. I wore black, the entire thing: top to bottom. I went down and sat with Aibileen to have breakfast.

Good morning dear.

Good morning Aibileen

Why are you wearing this?

Why what’s wrong?

It’s all black…

I know, so it matches my soul.

Dear, at least put on a white shirt…

Ok ok… Fine. I laughed, I took my toast with me upstairs and changed my shirt.

Better?

Much better.

I’ll be back at around 1. Then I need the driver to take me to any supermarket, I need to do the grocery shopping.

It’s all right I’ll do it instead.

No Aibileen, I want to do it. Just text me the things you need.

Ok. Take good care of yourself and good luck!

I arrived at a large building. Wow... my father did work hard for him to leave a legacy behind, for me… I got in and asked the receptionist where the offices are; she escorted me to the 33^rd floor. I walked with her as she toured me around the floor, then at exactly 10 I walked in the meeting room. At first I was scared, petrified to be honest, but then everyone was so welcoming. The more I heard about their ideas, the more I loved the place and loved the employees. They’re all hardworking, which is exactly what I want. But I couldn’t judge from one day only. After the meeting my secretary guided me to my office, it was overwhelmingly impressive.. The view, my god… was just mind-blowing. I could see the metro underneath, I could see the rush hour, I could see Dubai clearly. Everything was so tidy, the furniture crisp white. Dad.. I’m going to make you proud the way you made me proud. I started looking at some of the projects that had to be done by the company, I got a taste of what its like to be in my Dad’s shoes. I didn’t want to leave; this place is going to be my new sanctuary.

I went back home, changed my clothes.

Aibileen I’m going now. I yelled as I rushed downstairs.

Take care! Don’t forget to buy the things I asked for!

Ok!

I went out and closed the door, then got in the car. The driver took me to a huge supermarket located somewhere close to my house. I got down and he helped me by pushing the shopping trolley. It took me hours to buy everything Aibileen asked for and some random things I wanted. I decided to get some magazines to entertain myself. I picked out a few and right there, something unwanted welcomed me back to my past…

“Claims he’s a Russian, lives a Russian life but in reality is half Saudi half Russian. Designer Vladimir ties the knot with Russian supermodel Ulyana. Exclusive wedding pictures inside!”

 He’s getting married… Correction, he is married…

I rushed towards the cashier and placed the magazines I wanted. I finally arrived home, I got in the back kitchen, about to rush my way to Aibileen and tell her what I just saw when I overheard a conversation between her and someone.

Aibileen where’s Jawaher?  I removed my heels as fast as I could so I could eavesdrop. I hid behind the door and heard everything clearly. Its… Rashed…

She went out.

Where to?

Why are you here? Its best if you leave.

I have to see her.. Please its urgent.

This is the last time I’m going to tell you this, please leave.

Aibileen! I NEED HER!!! Can’t you see? Her heart is so fragile; it is caged by all the problems and troubles she’s been through and needs to be set free. It carries a lot of things, and I shall unlock it and set it free. We both know that I am capable of doing so. Now let me in.

I’m sorry but I can’t let you in. You don’t have the permission to enter this house, especially if the person that owns it doesn’t want to see you! Now please, stop if you can just listen to me for a moment. She’s been through a lot lately… Enough heartbreaks please… I can’t stand seeing her sad anymore, isn’t it enough what you’ve done to her? I just can’t let you in she doesn’t deserve another heartbreak.

Please, all I’m asking for is a couple of private minutes with her. I promise, that if I break her heart that you shall no longer see me or hear from me ever again. Just give me a chance… Please…

The door closed, and all I could hear was one person walking towards the kitchen. It just stopped… Everything was so quiet except for my loud heartbeats that was ringing in my ears.

Jawaher… I know you’re in there… Can I come in? I dare not say a word. My throat was strangled by reality, so my actions became my words. I unconsciously walked towards him. I sat down on a chair and he pulled one and placed it in front of me. He sat on it and began talking.

I don’t know how to begin or where to begin. I’ll begin by saying I’m sorry for what I did, just saying things without even considering how much each word hurts. I was forced to marry your stepsister. I’m tired of being polite, tired of pleasing the world when I should be pleasing myself. And you, you’ve made me feel like the most special person in the world. The more he spoke, the more I loved him. Why am I surrendering when I should be fighting back? To the world you may be one person, but to one person you mean the world… I’m that one person… You know what I love? I love how when we're together all your pain and suffering goes away like it never exists. And I need to tell you this before its too late… I love you…

I stayed quiet. I did not look into his eyes; instead I kept my gaze fixed on the details of the floor. My feelings were clouding my thoughts, my eyes soon became blurry…

My limbs have been backstabbed so many times; they can no longer tolerate the pain.

I promise that I am never going to leave you ever again.

I lost you once. And look at me now; I’m so much better. What guarantees me that I won’t lose you again?

I’ll be right here with you because you’ve been right here with me all along. Someone’s got to take care of you, and that’ll be me.

When you left me… I let it be. Because I was so afraid, I still am, and will always be afraid that’ll you’ll compare me to everyone. Because I know I can’t compete. I thought to myself maybe he left me.. Because I wasn’t good enough… There are so many things I wish I didn’t do in the past, so many regretful shameful things that I’ve done.

The past is a lesson; so don’t be afraid to look back. Instead, confront it and fight your fears and obstacles. Everyone has fault, errors or mistakes. And that doesn’t make me hate you or dislike you; instead it makes me love you more for it. Perhaps I can or can’t change you, but I know I can fix you. I can mend your broken heart, just give me a chance. I won’t judge your past, forget that it even existed. Let’s start all over again

Should I just bury my past with my parents Rashed? I can’t do that… But if it weren’t for my past, I wouldn’t have been the person I am today.

I know... I said this before, but I’ll say it again and this will be the last time I say it. Please take it seriously. Jawaher, how long do I have to wait?

You make it sound like it’s in my hands… they have the upper hand, I don’t.

Luckily I came in prepared.

What do you mean…?

There he was, kneeling down on one knee… He took out a box and held my hand.

When I look into your eyes I can see my dreams, my future, my life simply unravels into a beautiful fairy tale whenever you’re with me. Being in the same room as you anywhere, even amongst a crowd of people makes my heart buzz and beat so hard pumping my life with excitement, the way you lock your eyes into mine jolts my body. You make me lose my breath; the essence of every single word touched by your lips whisks my voice away mesmerizing me more and more. I know this kitchen isn’t the perfect place to pour myself to you, but this house is where we first officially met, where I poured out my feelings to you. You cannot fathom the ocean or the constellation of stars, and that’s how my love to you is. I want you to be mine not just for life, but forever. You will be a part of me. And I’ll be apart of you. Will you marry me?

This was no joke. It’s a lifelong decision, a commitment. For a moment, my mind was blank. The only thing that was beating was my heart, I noticed I stopped breathing; I was at the peak inhaling everything in. I breathed out. I felt my heart open up, the beats were so stable, I don’t even know what’s less than a second, but bit-by-bit my heart kept on beating for him more and more and more…

Love is like the skin on top of your bones. It’ll forever be stuck on you.. no escaping. I want the whole world to know, that I love you & only you! So… I say yes. Yes Rashed I want to spend the rest of my life waking up next to you, sharing every moment with you.

The widest smile spread across his face, he jumped off of the floor and hugged me really tight.

I love you! I love you!!!

He quickly opened the box; there it was the most beautiful ring I had ever seen. It was a unique heart-shaped diamond with baguette diamonds on the side it was breath taking. He placed the ring on my ring finger and hugged me tightly; he planted kisses on my cheeks, which made my emotional state from crying from happiness to uncontrollable giggles.

Aibileen she said yes!!! He called out for her. She walked in confused. Until she walked in and saw us, he was facing her smiling, and I was hugging him from the back with my chin resting on his shoulder and my arms wrapped around his waist. She gave us the weirdest look.

What’s going on between the two of you?

We said nothing, Rashed turned his head around and we giggled, I don’t know why but we just did?

Out of the blue, she started laughing uncontrollably.

Awww! Good men are hard to find, nowadays.

All wounds heal and often they make the bond stronger. It takes time, indeed good things come to those who wait, and I believe this saying because Rashed is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

So I asked Rashed what about my stepsister and him? He said he didn’t dare proceed by proposing to her, he couldn’t.

What about your dad? I’m sure he’s going to get mad… I think it’s best if we just leave, leave everything behind and travel the world with Aibileen. We can settle in London, or perhaps somewhere were they can’t find us.

It’s not mandatory to please the entire world. What’s mandatory is that we should please ourselves only, just you and me. I don’t care what they say, what they think, or what they’ll do. This is what we want, and this is what’s going to happen. We will have a wedding, because every girl deserves her moment.

He placed his hands on mine. I cannot possible emphasize on how much I actually love it when he fills in the gaps between my fingers, the way he intertwines his fingers with mine… a love story no one could possibly imagine. Even the tiniest, smallest part of me loves him…We spent the rest of the night together, I felt so happy so secure it was indescribable. I never felt this way before.

The next day…

Rashed and I went kayaking in the morning, and then we had breakfast together. 

During the afternoon, people started to arrive at my place. I was so worried, how are we going to tell them? The more I thought about it the more frightened I was.

I greeted everyone and Aibileen directed him or her towards the living room. The barbeque was set out outside. Rashed came and welcomed me with a peck on my cheeks.

Rashed I’m so worried…

What for?

How are we going to tell them? What if things don’t turn out to be the way we want it to be… I don’t want things to come in between us…

He cupped my face. Don’t worry everything is under control. The he placed a soft kiss on the tip of my nose. I blushed I know they saw me which made me even more nervous. Every time he looked at me, I felt safer.

You know what they say: after a hurricane comes a rainbow. Things did go out of control for a moment, my uncle was extremely angry; my stepsister said something very harsh.

She’s a devil in disguise; don’t be fooled by her angelic appearance. She spat out in anger.
They keep comparing me to the devil, and then I shall show them who the real devil is…

Whether you like it or not. I am the one who makes the decision. You either respect my decision or get the hell out of here. She is my wife and you are going to respect her. With that the placed hushed.

I walked closer to Rashed then placed my fingers on his chin, just the tip of it, holding it firmly. I came closer and kissed his cheek. He looked at me, smiling blankly. Just felt like it I said as I walked away. Drop the bomb and walk away. If that’s what they want then that’s what they’re going to get. my stepfamily stormed out of the place they all hated me even more. Well... Now the drama is over!  

Traffic Lights {28}

He lifted his head, and looked at me. I knew I was wise enough not to look, but I did, even the shortest eye contact between the two of us felt like a century of emotions I could tell how he felt at that moment. Like I was the reason for his expression and mood to change from happy to guilt. I turned the other way to Aibileen and right at the corner of my eye I saw him stop and stare; puzzled and perplexed by my action of turning away and not running towards him. I could’ve done that. But I’m no longer his and he’s no longer mine, and that’s why he’s obviously with someone else. The moment I knew Rashed was getting married I died a thousand deaths. I knew I was moving too fast, I could tell, but I didn’t realize how unbearable life had become for me. I don’t understand why I find myself comparing Rashed to Yousef or even worse Rashed replacing Yousef when all along I knew we were so alike, I know Yousef more than Rashed… 

I got in the plane and wore my earphones; Adele was like some kind of therapy to me. During the entire flight, I avoided watching movies so I read some books and continued listening to music.

Touchdown Dubai.

Aibileen unlocked the door. We unpacked; I showered and changed my clothes. I heard the bell ring, once, then a pause, again, then another pause. Why isn’t Aibileen answering?

Aibileen? I called out. No reply. I walked to her room. She’s asleep… I ran downstairs and opened the door.

Good evening Ma’am.

Good evening to you too?

This is a package sent from Mr. Rashed AlX.

And you are?

His driver.

Oh… Thank you.

Have a nice day Ma’am.

You too…  Awkward.

Uh, Ma’am. Sir’s father wants you to come over to his house tomorrow. Dinner gathering at 7PM.

Oh? I see.. Well tell them I’ll be there. And thank you again.

You’re welcome Ma’am.

He didn’t have the courage to come here, huh? 

I went to the living room; I opened the box only to find all of the papers; the apartments my dad owned, the houses, his companies, basically everything. They’re sending me a box filled with my dad’s properties as if they’re giving it away then they’re inviting me to dinner. I bet there’s something behind this. From one drama pit to another, they’ll just keep digging them up for me to fall in them.

Next day.

I woke up at 8 something. I had breakfast with Aibileen and told her about what happened last night when she was asleep. She was as surprised as I was, we both concluded that tonight’s dinner has a mysterious meaning behind it. So we decided to go shopping together.

Aibileen what do you think? Too short?

Not for a dinner gathering.

Hmm…

Jawaher! I found it! This is exactly what we’re both looking for. Its backless with a hint of sexiness and a sophisticated stylish elasticated waist to give a little figure but to show some more skin. You know how this makes people’s heart throb, and if it was on you I think you’ll jolt them with your beauty: a state of art.

Oh Aibileen, you’re a genius! I hugged her.

I bought the dress, and then we went ahead and bought a couple of things for the both of us. We went to the salon, pampered ourselves then went back home. I got dressed and wore one of mommy’s diamond earrings. I tied my hair up into a bun and applied simple makeup. I then applied my favourite red lipstick. I wore my heels, went to Aibileen to say goodbye then got in the car. My heart was beating so fast, my hands were shaky. Last time I went, I got slapped. This time… God knows what’ll happen…

I arrived. My uncle was standing outside waiting for me... 

Jawaher! So nice to see you again. He welcomed me with his arms open wide. He hugged me. You look beautiful. His smile slowly forming.

Thank you. Its nice to see you too. Thank you for inviting me over.

You don’t need to thank me dear, after all we are a family. Right… How kind of you to remember me after I inherited what’s written on the will.

We walked in and everyone was there, the exact same people that were invited to the previous dinner. My eyes scanned the room, it found its target; Rashed. There he was sitting with my stepsisters and cousins.

Everyone, Jawaher has arrived! They all looked at me, the place hushed for a moment and smiles began to form. Strange. This is so strange… I went ahead and said hello to everyone. They all greeted me so warmly. Last time they barely smiled… I could tell from the look in their eyes how much they disliked me, especially my stepmother. And my dress, was the cherry on top, it just made them hate me even more. It’s like the more they hated me the stronger it built me.

We were directly escorted towards the dining room; I sat on my uncle’s right side for he was seated at the head of the table. And right beside me was Rashed, then my stepsister. Already involved, they spoke together and he barely spoke to me as if he didn’t know me… The strongest pain is when you miss someone who is sitting right next to you…

I knew exactly what was going on, in fact I figured it out. They purposely made me sit beside Rashed because they found out that all along he was my lawyer, and perhaps there was something going on between the two of us. Something they despised, so in fear they came up with a solution before things got out of control. And my stepsister played her role so well, she would playfully feed him, flirtatiously talk to him and so on. 

Dessert was being served, I excused myself to leave and that’s when it really became obvious.

Rashed would you mind dropping Jawaher off to her house?

The driver’s outside, I wouldn’t want Rashed to drop me.

Oh no, I told the driver to leave. His smile was the evilest smile I had ever seen. After all you don’t mind. You seem to know each other so well.

I looked at Rashed. He didn’t say a word; he was as surprised as I was.

Is that so? Well then, thank you for inviting me to dinner. Oh and please do come over to my house sometime, all of you. How about after tomorrow? I’m throwing a barbeque party! Well I better be going, so good night everyone.

Jawaher, let’s go. He held me hand and we left. My stepsister’s anger reached at its peak, I shyly smiled. I got into his car, I could feel how uncertain he was, but what he just did was unexpected. He took a different route; actually he drove to some other destination.

I wish…. I wish I had the power to ignore you like you ignore me.  

I remained silent throughout the drive. He stopped at some place, he turned around and stared at my triple forward helix piercing, admiring it. I felt him reach out as his cold fingers softly touched my ears.

Won’t you say something?

I didn’t say a word.

Are you going to stay like this? The moment I need you most all you do is ignore me?

I’m not ignoring you… I just have nothing to say… My voice was suddenly shaky.

What am I supposed to do… 

Do you ever feel like your life is a game of chess? They’re playing you and your feelings. Or even worse you’re a puppet obeying each command as if you’re obliged to do so, its not mandatory you know. He looked at me, I could see him lost in the depth of his thoughts.

Jawaher, how long will I have to wait?

Wait for what?

Can’t you see how much I need you?

Please take me home. I was suddenly scared; he hit me, my weak spot. Please… It was more of a whisper; I didn’t want this to happen. He held my hand, and I let him as long as he was taking me home. We arrived; the ride was dead quiet which was exactly what I wanted. I opened the door, about to leave but he didn’t let go from his grip around my hand.

When will I see you again?

Please let me go… Rashed. You need to move on. In the end, you have no choice. Even when you did, they took it away from you. My words paralyzed him and he let go of me. Good night...

Traffic Lights {27}

Our dearest most beloved readers; 

We have noticed how creative our readers are and how you all have some interesting solutions to certain events in the story so we decided to change the story a bit and integrate your solutions with the events, thank you for being so active. We look forward to reading your ideas! 

Enjoy xo

Jump….

Go on…

Do it..

All it took was a jump. The leap of faith. But I couldn’t. I just could not do it. I wanted to, I really did. So what will happen if I jumped from the 23^rd floor? Would I survive or would my bones get crushed the instant I land? Stupid question, let’s give it a shot. But what if I was somehow lucky and survived, I’d be forever disabled and probably in a coma. But I can’t think of a better place to be in, to end my life and finally see my parents and sister! What more do I want?

But there’s a reason why I was the one who survived and not them, why I was born with the stronger heart and not Rodha… My muscles froze, I couldn’t even move. My memories are numbing me as if I had a seizure.

JAWAHER! What are you doing? Aibileen ran as fast as she could. Move away from the railing Jawaher. Please… She was stuttering, shaking in fear.

Why!!! Why didn’t God take me away instead of my family? Why wasn’t I the one who was born with the weaker heart? I no longer want to live, I’ve had enough! ENOUGH!!! I have to jump. This is it. My fingers that are frozen to death from the fear and are slowly slipping away. A flashback suddenly haunted me. I don’t want to die…. What am I doing? Now I know the meaning of ‘I love him to death’, or the fact that death is sweeter than suffering.

Please Jawaher… Just.. Hold my hand, just hold my hand. We can go through this the right way together..

What a fool I am…  Jump... 

I can't.... 

I climbed back to the other side slowly safely; Aibileen then dragged me towards the window. She hugged me so hard, crying as she thanked god she saved me on time.

Aibileen am I cursed? What is it that keeps people away from me? When I’m so close to someone and I feel like I’ve finally settled down to the right choice it disappears… I don’t understand. Aibileen I love him… why’d he have to go? Sometimes I wonder to myself, does anyone bother listening? Aibileen does. She understands the most. Rashed did… And it felt so good to just open up to him, because he feels the way I feel.

We’re going back to Dubai tomorrow. I unconsciously announced. I felt like my unconscious thinking was working at a fast pace that I couldn’t catch up with. My mood suddenly shifted. 

What for?

For the whole world to see who I am and what I’m made of. I suddenly felt this urge of empowerment; something was motivating me forcefully to do things. What was a joke back then, is becoming reality… “The devil wants to come out and play” I felt goose bumps as I recalled my thoughts back then. What am I becoming…? I could clearly see how lost Aibileen was, she had no idea what I was saying nor did I. But some instinct subliminally told me what to do. I’m such a coward, to face these obstacles by thinking that the solution is to end my life. These obstacles are just the start.

Aibileen quietly took me back to my room; I rested on my bed as she went to fetch me a cup of tea. I turned the music system on; to Adele. Every song I heard reminded me of Yousef instead of Rashed… Never mind I’ll find someone like you, she sang dedicating the lyrics to me as it fed my heart memories. I turned to my side, hugged my feet and slept as the music soothed the pain.

The alarm woke me up. I’m finally leaving this place, all the bad memories will remain here as I go back to Dubai. I dressed up like some kind of rebellious teenager, who wasn’t in the mood. Aibileen and I got in the car, I was eager; I wanted to be in Dubai I had this strong intuition that kept on telling me my life would change the moment I arrive. 

I looked out of the window because I knew I was going to miss Tokyo no matter what, in the end it truly changed me. The car stopped as the traffic lights turned red. I watched the wave of people move as the light turned green, I remember my incident with Alfie. 

And there he was amongst the sea of people, a bright blue head peeped. My heart stopped… 

How could you do this to me…. ? 

Traffic Lights {26}

This post is dedicated to Abeer Khalid! 

Enjoy xo

I rolled over to the other side to check the time. 10:47AM. I have nothing to do, nowhere to go. So I eventually convinced myself and got up to get ready for another shopping spree on my own. What should I wear? Hmm.. Something casual..  I showered then got dressed. I walked down the stairs heading towards the dining room.

Strange. Jawaher isn’t up yet… 

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. I said as I walked in. Rashed! Funny I was just about to call you and tell you to come over or perhaps join me.

What a coincidence. I actually came over to say goodbye.

Already? So soon… Please don’t leave…  I didn’t want him to but I couldn’t say a word. Is it too soon to become attached to someone you barely know? I’m growing fond of him and its scaring me somehow…

I have some cases to take care of. And besides my father is somehow suspicious from my short journey, which is so sudden. Out of the blue I decided to come and with the lamest excuse was that I needed to lighten up.

When will I see you again?

When will you go to Tokyo?

If you’re leaving then I’m leaving. My graduation is in 3 days so… I guess I’ll leave tomorrow or tonight if I find some seats in the airplane. What do you think Aibileen?

There’s nothing to do here, I think it’s a good idea to go to Tokyo tonight.

Rashed look down at his watch and sighed. Well, I have to go now.

I hugged him and whispered in his ears. I miss you already. I smiled. I could swear to you that that moment made me feel weak, as though he’s a part of me, which has settled but was about to leave me all alone.

Why does saying goodbye have to be so hard? Harder than even shutting a person away all of sudden. The word itself sends shivers down my spine and makes me shudder in fear of losing someone whom I’m now attached to. Oh god… I’m suddenly becoming attached to him, isn’t it too soon?

I watched him get into the car, I waved for as long as I could until I saw that car that had that one person I’m starting to rely on, disappear. I felt something heavy sit on my heart, stirring my feelings with its razor-sharp hawk like nail. It hurts so much. I went back to my room and packed my bag, unconsciously.

Three days have passed. I haven’t spoken to Rashed, in fact, I know nothing about him. My hair and makeup was done, I felt like I was back to modeling except its only my graduation.  I cannot believe that I’m finally graduating. We walked towards our seats and the speeches began. I sat there confident about myself, and watched Aibileen waving at me on the second front row. I excitedly smiled back, too shy to wave back. The names list was being said, and there amongst the hundreds of other students my name was pronounced in a strong Japanese accent; a valedictorian. I was so proud of myself, so proud of who I’ve become I just wish so badly that my parents and Rodha were here to see… I delivered the valedictory, and I can tell you the standing ovation that I received made me feel like I was important, it suddenly placed value in my life.

After the graduation ceremony we had a huge party, which I attended for a moment because everything seems to mirror my experience with modeling, and now and then I got flashbacks of Yousef and I. I didn’t realize that I had feelings towards him; my feelings are still bottled up. A side of me wanted to go back to Yousef’s place, back to the atelier and it was the dominant side. I was just so curious to see him, how is he doing without me? And so I set my thoughts aside and went intentionally back to what my feelings were telling me, I had to find out.

I walked all the way to the building he lived in. I took the elevator upstairs and walked the same path I used to walk with him, holding hands. I stood by the door; I stared at the initials for as long as it took. My brain just couldn’t apprehend the letters, as if they were gibberish! I touched the gold plated letters; they’re no longer VY… Could it be? I soon realized what I had done; I pressed the bell without thinking. Oh. My. God. I felt a jolt of fear hit me, and I was immediately slapped back to reality, I turned around and walked the other way. I was halfway there, when someone opened the door.

How may I help you? An American.

Shit… What have I done? Why did I have to get myself into such a hassle!

Oh I’m sorry.. I was looking for an old friend. Vladimir? He used to live here but I then realized that the initials aren’t the same. Sorry to disturb you.

Oh. Not at all, the guy that owned the apartment wanted to get rid of this place as soon as possible so he sold it for some cheap price. And I got it.

Oh, well… Good for you! I have to go now, I’m really sorry.

No, no it’s fine. Besides I’m here on my own so you didn’t disturb or whatsoever. I’ll let him know you passed by.. Miss-?

Umm... No I’ll tell him I was here.

Are you sure? I mean I don’t mind.

Thank you. It’s ok, I’ll tell him myself.

Ok. Bye. He closed the door. Phew, that was close. I went back to my apartment, I had a feeling that there was something good, some good news or I don’t know just an instinct telling me to hurry back.

I put my key in the lock and turned it around. Bismillah, I hope there’s something special. I entered with my eyes shut, once I opened my eyes I felt an arm wrap around me tightly.

I’m so proud of you. Once I heard his voice, all the bottled up unwanted feelings escaped from my body. I felt like I was cured right away. His voice so soothing, I hugged him back.

I missed you so much.

I missed you too.

Why didn’t you call?

Well, I’m here to deliver some good and bad news. So which shall we start with first? The good or the bad?

The bad? I don’t know… How bad is it? He looked down for a bit. That’s bad. Let’s go sit somewhere outside. He nodded and followed me towards the balcony. Aibileen obviously knew he was going to visit, she set the table in the dinning room for three; the food all well prepared with a cake.

Would you like something to eat?

No, thank you. His mood suddenly switched to formal.

I sat right beside him, leaving a small gap beside him and looked at him. I placed my hand on his; maybe it would ease up the pain?

Well I’ll say this to you straightaway. I have to get married… To your youngest stepsister… I felt like someone just threw a bomb right at my face, my jaws literally dropped to the bottom of the building. I could hear my heartbeats clearly. Slowly. Painfully. Is this some kind of joke?

And.. I couldn’t speak up; my throat became so dry for no reason. Why is he doing this to me! The good news?

I won the case. Jawaher, you’re free. I could feel his empathetic smile forming, he felt sorry for me.

Thank you. I turned to the other side. I didn’t want to talk. And he knew, he stood up without saying a word and left. How could you do this to me!

I walked towards the railing, and stood there for so long. Should I just jump and end my life on this day? I thought about it for so long, this would just make life much easier for all of them and for me! My entire body was shaking, and my tears kept on rushing down my face. I felt miserable, and this is the only way I could end this chronic misery. I closed my eyes…

Ready?

3..

2..

1..

….