Chapter 43

Flashback

I had signed the book and my tears made their way down the paper blurring out some of the handwritten things. I wasn’t bothered to read who my husband was but his father’s name was just like my uncles and it was the only thing that caught my attention. Who could it possibly be? One thing I know for sure is: it is impossible that I am getting married to either 3abdl3aziz or Fahad. It is possible, a slight chance that my parents would accept… and a slow wave washed my mind filled with thoughts. My makeup artist had finished in no time and I was about to get down, I never wanted this day to come and I had “unintentionally” planned something out; the most ridiculous thing but I did it for the fun of it; nothing has entered my mouth since yesterday morning, and I only had a  small bottle of water this morning then I drove to the farmhouse just to free myself from the stress (went horse riding), and came back home; had my hair done, nails done, make up and wore my dress.

The journey from my room to the stairs was hell, my head spinning slowly, my knees shaking and I struggled to walk in my heels, my whole body shivering, my heartbeat was slow and loud, the background music would fade in then fade out and I could feel the strong beats crashing my chest and then hitting my heart. I couldn’t breathe much. I went down the stairs once; twice and I nearly fell. My mother and aunts had helped me, before I reached the bottom of the stairs I failed miserably to hold myself; I was about to crash down in tears. I was shaking in fear. They tried to calm me down, the maids rushed in with a tray of beverages, water and food. My mother cried, seeing me in this terrible situation.

After drinking the bottle of water, I felt fresher than before and a bit stronger. I inhaled deeply and made my way towards the car which was to take me to the beach (in my house) where my engagement party was to take place.

My parents had arranged a dream, not an engagement party. They had built a gazebo that was floating on the water in the sea. I walked the long path that had roses hanging on the arches; the arches were beautiful; the hard Italian work showed clearly through the marble and carvings. There were candles on the side that led the way towards the chair where I was to sit with my ‘husband’. My body could no longer stand the cold wind or my weight, before I reached the gazebo the last thing I heard was a scream. And that was when my plan had worked: I fainted.